A: i do not backstab

im catholic

guilt is scarier than death

A: james van der beek is on one tree hill tonight

B: i don't give a shit

A: is it weird that im googling hemorrhoids

B: wtf. do you have hemorrhoids?

A: no i just want to see what they are so that ill know if i ever have them

B: You are creepy

[B: Status message: R.I.P. Dave; You will be missed]

A: Sorry for your loss...friend/family/co worker?

B: pet

office pet

mouse

A: i cant believe jon gosselin has 2 gfs now

B: who the f is that?

jon of jon and kate?

plus 8?

plus 2 girlfriends?

equals too many fucking mouths to feed

A: sorry im in a terrible mood

B: it's okaybring home a bottle of vodka. i have a gun

lets play russian roulette

A: I feel likethe grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - prior to the discovery of the golden wonka ticket - in that i have not moved for the entire day